Charles Davis
I donÕt know where I was, but it was somewhere between the 32nd and 33rd iPod commercial on TV when two things finally hit me Ð ÒVertigoÓ by U2 is perhaps the most annoying, god-awful song since Good CharlotteÕs last single (whatever it was). Oh, and Bono is a complete whore. Fresh from a campaign to forgive third world debt, it seems he is intent on piling up the first-world debt, hawking his bandÕs stylish $349 custom iPod. Now even this could be forgiven if the song in question actually rocked (or in the case of U2, didnÕt suck entirely), after all, they would be far from the first group to sellout. But alas, itÕs the kind of easy-listening, ready-made pop jingle your four-year-old nephew would love, complete with meaningless lyrics and an attempt at Spanish poorer than a drunken freshman at SafariÕs (Òuno-dos-tres-catorce?Ó). It also has the distinction of being the only song to sound overplayed the first time you heard it Ð possibly since the melody is apparently lifted from a song by Diana Ross and the Supremes.
Of course, maybe IÕm being a little too hard on them. After all, corporate executives and advertising firms have struggled for years with the problem of selling their products while finding a suitable classic rock song to desecrate in the process. And many times those classics havenÕt easily lent themselves to selling Korean automobiles and household cleaning supplies, so their meanings are by necessity subverted. Consider Creedence Clearwater RevivalÕs ÒFortunate Son,Ó a powerful Vietnam-era antiwar statement, or so you thought. Since its normal lyrics could potentially hurt redneck Ð er, red state Ð business, the folks at Wrangler Jeans edited the song so as to say the quasi-patriotic Òsome folks are born made to wave the flag, ooh theyÕre red, white and blue,Ó deleting the all-important following lines Òbut it ainÕt me, I ainÕt no SenatorÕs son.Ó Yay America!
So in one sense, U2Õs iPod advertisement is a godsend Ð it at least prevented another Rolling Stones or Clash song from being forever ruined. But in the larger picture, it signifies a growing willingness amongst artists to license their music to companies in hopes of greater exposure. It used to be that most musicians were extremely hesitant to sell their music to a company, not because they were all rabid anti-capitalists, but because it was seen as diminishing the work in question Ð an emotional song about love lost seems to lose a little something after its been used as bumper music to lead into an NBA halftime report. Of course, things change over time, and nowadays artists can be seen everywhere selling everything from fragrances to something called Òcrunk juiceÓ without so much as a whimper from their fan base. Bob Dylan once joked that if he ever did allow a company to use his music, it would only be for womenÕs undergarments, and to his credit he held firm to this. He appeared in a VictoriaÕs Secret commercial last year.
So is it only a matter of time before the DJ on the radio starts playing that Òhot new Home Depot jointÓ and the Tonight Show features Òthe Time Warner Cable DSL-KillazÓ (Òyo we got what ya need, twice the download speedÓ), or can music be saved? Keep in mind that bad music existed well before commercialization, and with todayÕs technologies we are no longer slaves to the radio station and record labels. While there will always be plenty of bands content in destroying their music through an orgy of corporate whoring and bland overproduction, there will be no shortage of capable artists willing to forego the sponsorships and MTV for the sake of real, quality music. Then again I could be wrong, in which case, enjoy your new ÒSafe DriverÕs Save MoreÓ album, brought to you by Progressive Auto Insurance.